Doubting Forever
by Erin Reya
Summary: The two young hares were destined to be together forever, having grown up as best friends through childhood. But is there doubt in their relationship? FLUFF! =) Please R/R
1. Default Chapter

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Disclaimer: I do not own Redwall.. so the areas are not mine. They belong to the genius, Brian Jacques. However, the characters ARE mine! =) Except Rosa and Jasmine belong to a friend of mine. I have her permission to use her characters.

"When are you going to _propose_ Turan?" Yet another busybody of the abbey pressed one afternoon. So it was only the hundredth time-and counting- that he'd been asked this question. Seasons thank his lucky stars that he had an unsurpassable patience.  


Now as he leaned upon the hilt of his sword, he looked on at Rosa, trying to hide the annoyance from his features. He knew Jasmine was at the head of all of this. That meddler of a vixen! She was putting everyone up to it.  


"Rosa," he replied calmly. "I'm sure you know you aren't the first person to ask me that." _Nor will she be the last._ he thought bitterly. "But for lack of a nicer way to say it.. It's none of your business."  


"But everybody knows you will being doing it, mon ami," Rosa argued just as softly and calmly as Turan. "So why not being doing it sooner than later, oui?"  


"Rosa.." Turan said with a small sigh, lifting his sword and sheathing it, for he knew he was completely at a loss for a chance to get back to his training. "I think I can handle this decision myself. Now.. could you do me a favor and please ask Jasmine to give it a rest?"  


She fixed Turan with her dark eyes for a moment. "How you being knowing mes ami Yasmin doing this?" She asked, catching on her difficult accent.  


He gave a sigh. "When isn't she? I'll see you later, Rosa. I'm going to be off now. Have a good day." And with that, he slipped off into the orchard before he could be cornered again.  


He walked through the orchard towards the pond. He hadn't been training with Tannia, so he wondered where she had got off to.   


But perhaps he knew her too well. For by the pond he found her, picking up random stones and trying to skip them along the calm water's surface. Sadly, most of them fell pitifully short, skipping only once or twice before sliding in through the water and out of view. But it was not for lack of trying. Tannia did not seem the least put-out by it. In fact, she only faintly seemed to be paying attention to what she was doing.  


Turan smilingly came forward, searching the ground. He drew up a small, flat stone and tossed it over the water. It skipped several times before sinking. Tannia blinked then turned and looked at Turan.   


So many had seen it.. that quick, yet small change that overcame her at the sight of Turan. The warrior never saw it, for it was the look she always wore when he was present. But others.. they would see her smiles were just a little wider, her eyes dancing. She just looked the part of a blissful young haremaid.  


"Show off," she said, but she was smiling. Why wouldn't she be smiling? Turan laughed and before another word was spared, he leaned down and kissed her. A normal greeting between the two young hares. Only if they were alone though, of course.  


When he drew away, he saw Tannia let out a small breath before opening her eyes, as if slightly regretting it was over. He couldn't help but smile at it.  


"So what have you been up to?" Tannia asked, taking his paw and leading him over to sit in the shade. She leaned against the tree, and slipping down to sit at its base, Turan immediately following suit. The shade was much appreciated on the warm summer afternoon.  


"Nothing much," he replied casually. "Just training." His answer for everything. Well, of course, he usually was training. But he felt he needn't bring up the whole interrogation with Rosa. It was only one of many in the past couple of weeks. It was not as if he hid it from Tannia though. She knew all about it.  


Unfortunately, Tannia could read those bright blue eyes like an open book. She certainly stared at them long enough and often enough. But that is irrelevant. With all the innocence and coquettishness she could muster, she said "I went and had a little chat with Jasmine today."  


Oh yes. Turan saw THAT one coming a league off. "I won't even ask." He replied rather flatly. Because, really, he had no whim of knowing what was said in so-called 'little chat.'  


"Good." Tannia replied with a small, forlorn sigh. She sank down a bit where she sat and laid her head against Turan's shoulder. "She just doesn't understand the phrase 'mind your own business,' does she?"  


Turan gave a wry smile. Where did that sound familiar? But his voice always seemed so sure, and even so happy-go-lucky at most times. It was a comforting combination, and Tannia closed her eyes just to listen. "You aren't letting Jasmine get to you, are you Tannia?"  


Oh.. now she had to talk? There was a moment of silence. "I try not to." She finally said, still not opening her eyes.  


He shifted slightly, so he could put his paw to her chin and tilt her head so she was looking at him. She flicked her eyes open and looked at him, a smile crossing her lips. Oh yep. That's exactly what he was looking for. He returned the smile.  


Tannia had heard about it so much. Whether from other lovesick souls, or from romance tales. That rapid beating of your heart, that feeling of weakness-like you've turned to jello; though not unpleasant at all. How did Turan do that... just by looking at her?  


He held the gaze for just a moment, knowing exactly what it did to Tannia. Why not use this incredible power he had over her? Just a glance. Just a smile. It was so easy. Easy, he knew, because she trusted him so much. Then he spoke again, softly. "I don't want anyone to bother you. Don't ever be upset by such a thing. Just remember you know more about our relationship than anyone else does."  


And those were the words the lingered in her mind. Words she knew she should heed. But she couldn't help but worry. Everything seemed to confuse her right now. Sometimes the other Redwallers sounded right.. there just didn't seem any logical reason why Turan had yet to propose to her. Why didn't he?  


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A/N~~ I know I didn't tell you much about my characters! But it's because this story was originally for some friends who are familiar with my characters. If I get good reviews, I'll put up the rest of the story, and describe my characters better. They are both hares. They grew up from young kids together. Turan is the Redwall warrior. Tannia is also a fighter, but not with Turan's skill.


	2. Doubting

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Disclaimer: I do not own Redwall.. so the areas are not mine. They belong to the genius, Brian Jacques. However, the characters ARE mine! =) Except Rosa and Jasmine belong to a friend of mine. I have her permission to use her characters.

PART 2

It was another beautiful summer day that was now coming to a close as the sun sank down in the west. It had been a very peaceful day altogether, no annoying disruptions.

Only, Turan had not seen Tannia since lunch. Both of them had been rather busy most of the day, and had agreed to meet up by the pond at sunset to spend some time together before they had to retire to their own rooms for the night.

The young warrior had already been by the pond for awhile. Even though it was early, it was still a nice place to be alone for a little while. When the afternoon faded off, the Dibbuns were no longer allowed in the area, so now it was empty and quiet.

He knelt beside the water and splashed some of the cool water at his face, grateful for the reprieve from the heat. It may be the evening, but the daylight's warmth sank into all the surroundings and would still linger for hours to come.

He sat for a few silent moments before turning his gaze skywards. He was surprised to see twilight taking over the sky that was pink with sunset only a few minutes before. Stars began to flicker their light into the early night's darkness. He looked back behind him only more surprised that Tannia had not come yet. It was not so much that she was very late or anything. But she usually was so timely, glad to meet up with him after a busy day.

He stood again, pacing a short area, his eyes flicking sideways at every sound he heard. It was only getting darker and darker, and the darker it got, the more Turan became curious about where Tannia had got off to.

Finally, he decided to go off and try to find her. He gave a quick scan of the grounds, not seeing her. Most creatures were filing into Great Hall, getting ready for supper. He slipped in there as well, walking about, but there was still no sign of Tannia.

He went up a set of stairs, slowing down as he considered his choices. No doubt Jasmine would know where she was, but did he want to face her? She had been rather shirty with him lately. Somehow the lack of proposing thus far was causing Jasmine to have a personal vendetta on him.

With a sigh of resignation he quickened his pace, making his way to the infirmary. When he came to the door, he raised his paw to knock, hesitating. Deciding against it, he walked right in to the room instead. He found Jasmine cleaning, tight-lipped, looking preoccupied by something. She raised her head as she heard Turan enter.

"Oh it's you," she said, as if she had been expecting someone else. She continued organizing her things and cleaning down the counter. The young hare only stood by the door, watching the vixen. She eventually stopped and looked up at him. "Do you need something, Turan?"

"Where's Tannia?" He asked without hesitation.

The indifferent expression on the infirmary-keeper's face suddenly turned to concern. "Oh Turan.. she left here crying."

He took a quick breath, the paws at his sides tensing. "Tell me you didn't.." His voice trailed off as he stared hard at her.

She swallowed, walking slowly over to Turan. "No, no.. I'm so sorry, Turan. She came in here crying. But.. well.. I couldn't seem to cheer her up."

Turan cast his eyes downward. "Why didn't she come to me?" He asked quietly, though he felt he knew the reason.

"Well..." Was all Jasmine said, drawing it out, looking with the same concern at Turan.

He suddenly felt sick, stuffing his paws into the pocket of his cloak. He remained silent though, looking at the ground, seeming the epitome of defeat.

A wave of sympathy washed over the vixen at the sight of Turan. "Turan.. I am so sorry, this is all my fault.."

"No," he silenced her. Then paused, offering her a small, strained smile. "Well, maybe. I'll see you later."

Before Jasmine could say another word Turan had turned and left the infirmary. He left so quickly he didn't even close the door properly. As it swayed back open on its own momentum, Jasmine stepped out and glanced down the hallway. The young hare was already out of sight.

He had slipped quickly down the staircase and now made his way to the dormitories. What a mess this all was. When he got to the hallway, he slowed down, running through his head what he could possibly say to Tannia to make her feel better.

With still no clear idea what he would say, he came up to her door and knocked. There was a long hesitation, then he heard a muffled voice call from inside. "Who is it?"

"It's me," Was all Turan's reply consisted of. It was enough. He had to wait another few moments before he heard the door click as she unlocked it and slowly pulled it open. 

He was unhappy to see how reluctant she was to look up and meet his gaze. She kept her eyes lowered. He could easily tell she'd been crying, with red rimmed eyes and flushed, tear-stained cheeks.

"Are you okay?" He asked softly, restraining himself from stepping any closer without invitation.

She didn't reply, but she stepped aside, a motion to allow Turan to come in. He did so, then stopped, waiting as she clicked the door shut. Then he took her paw and led her over to the couch she had in the corner of her room.

He sat and pulled Tannia down beside him. She allowed him to, but didn't cuddle against him as she normally would have. When he put his arm about her, she stiffened. Taking the hint, he drew back off of her. 

"Tannia.. what's wrong?" He asked finally.

She suddenly seemed overly interested in the paws that she fidgeted with in her lap. She couldn't tell him.. she couldn't possibly admit the fear and sadness lurking in her. She couldn't tell him why.

She cleared her throat, and finally started in a choked voice. "A lot of the Redwallers.. they've been talking.. and it's starting to.. make sense." She spoke in small snatches, drawing a long pause between each time she spoke. Whatever it was that 'made sense' was the part she couldn't seem to say.

There was a painfully long and awkward pause there. Tannia didn't seem prepared to say anything more. Turan finally spoke, his voice sounding quite decisive. "They're saying I don't have feelings for you anymore."

Tannia bristled, too scared to look up at him. When there was no response, Turan was sure he now knew why Tannia was so upset.

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A/N~ Eh. I know its sappy and sad and.. yeah. But you don't have to read it! Lol. There's one more part to my story, it's considerably shorter than the first two. I'll put it up after some reviews for this story, though. Thanks! ^_^


	3. Forever?

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Disclaimer: I do not own Redwall.. so the areas are not mine. They belong to the genius, Brian Jacques. However, the characters ARE mine! =) Except Rosa and Jasmine belong to a friend of mine. I have her permission to use her characters.

The following few seconds were the longest in Tannia's entire life. So Turan knew. He knew why she never showed up, why she locked herself in her room and cried away the past hour. She did love how he could read her feelings so easily. But maybe that was a bad thing now... if he no longer felt anything for her, she didn't want him to have the chance to look into her eyes and pull every thought from her mind like he so often did.  


Why wasn't Turan saying anything? Was he waiting for her to reply? Well she wouldn't! She sat there, feeling his eyes watching her. It had been months since she felt uncomfortable in Turan's presence. But nothing ever like this. This was just painful.  


Turan sat there, not believing this had happened. How could Tannia finally crumble under the pressure and taunts of the other Redwallers? He knew only too well how self-conscious she could be. She used to constantly worry about not being good enough. It was all her father's fault. He knew that's what was happening. She was scared to keep her feelings for him in fear of being rejected.  


Slowly, he slipped his arms back around her. He felt her stiffen again, turning her face away, still too scared to make eye contact. But this time Turan pulled her closer and kissed her cheek. He felt the tension in Tannia ebb slowly away at the familiar feeling.  


The same feeling she always got around Turan flowed through her. She could never pretend she didn't love him. She knew he couldn't pretend _to_ love her either. It was too real. When she was with him.. it was so easy to believe him, so easy to trust everything he said, everything he did. Why did that change when he wasn't there?  


With a small, wistful sigh, she let him pull her against him, and she rested her head against his shoulder. It was still silent. Tannia closed her eyes, her breathing quicker than usual as she tried not to cry again. She hated that.. how when she spent a long time crying, it was hard put to stop.  
Why couldn't she feel this way all the time though? So positive about their whole relationship. 

Why did she fall to pieces when he wasn't there to remind her how it was all supposed to be? This was pathetic! She'd heard about so many others losing their minds over these kind of things. She had sworn she'd never be like that. Look at her now.  


With her breathing calming, and her exhaustion from crying, she was drifting into an unresolved slumber, until she heard a soft voice in her ear. "I love you."  


A shiver ran through her at those words. Why was she hearing them _now?_ She was falling asleep..  


She opened her eyes, wondering if she'd imagined the voice. She shifted and looked up, meeting Turan's gaze for the first time that evening. She froze, holding the eye contact she'd been avoiding for so long. Funny. If only she had done that earlier. That was the perfect place to find answers. Eyes couldn't lie.  


For the first time since the afternoon, she smiled. She sat up a bit, still close against him. She kissed him, then pulled back out, resting her forehead against his to keep their gaze locked. "I love you, too."

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A/N- So, that's it! I told you the third part was really short, sorry about that. Oh, and for clarification about the reference to Tannia's father.. she was abused when she was a child. Hope you enjoyed it, because there isn't a very large chance of me writing more fluff! Hehe. I'm more for sarcasm and battle scenes. I'll have more out soon =) In fact, look out for Turan's Journal: A Warrior-to-Be. A journal he kept when he was young. (It will tell also explain more of Tannia's childhood through Turan's POV) Thanks! Please review! =) 


	4. Author's Note

To reply to a rather enthusiastic.. er.. would you call it a fan? Lol. (*feels special*) 

I can't really write an epilogue, because I plan on writing about their future in more stories. It just won't continue right off this one. If you all stick around, I promise I'll get stories about them out.

Right now I'm getting the journal together. I hope you all read that and enjoy it.

Sorry I can't do more right now, I'm trying not to let anyone down! You should just know Tannia and Turan are very, very close though. The journal will talk about them when their relationship wasn't... well... a relationship.

It will also explain how they grew up to become to close . So I recommend it if you have any interest in these two characters of mine.

Thanks again to everyone who's read and gotten this far! I really appreciate it. But I would appreciate it even more if you haven't reviewed so far, to please do so. Thank-you. Good-bye. ^_^


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